Citizen Trump

        It's mid-December 2046 in downtown Manhattan on the 58th story of the Trump Tower where former president Donald Trump has lived in seclusion for the past two decades, his fingernails grown to unmanageable lengths as he watches Citizen Kane for the 132nd time. He has reached the golden age of 100 but lies motionless in bed...alone....and in the dark.
         His mind is wandering in slow-motion...not to the White House or foreign palaces, not to cataclysmic disasters or bull markets, but to a little hill in the Jamaica Estates neighborhood of Queens, New York. The hill is covered with fresh snow as more snowflakes the size of gumballs come down. His eyes are closed and he smiles at the word snowflakes in his mind for it was a nation of snowflakes that ruined his dreams as president. The smile vanishes and then comes back as his inward gaze returns to the small snow-covered hill. He is atop it yelling commands to his friends at the bottom of the hill. He mounts his sled, pushes off and glides down to the bottom, overturning and laughing joyously with these his young friends,
          His smile is then frozen.....holding a snow globe that contains inside a sled with one word written on it....his hands release the globe and it rolls off his lap and onto the floor.   His voice is barely discernible but no one was with him to hear it anyway....he utters one word......'covfefe.'

Bucket List

        I'm about as far from a Harley rider as you can get but I've always had a bit of a fascination with others who ride down the road with the wind in their hair. We're in Myrtle Beach right now and it's Bike Week. It wasn't planned...in fact I usually try to avoid Bike Week but it slipped my mind when the reservations were made. Well... it's actually interesting seeing...and hearing....all these remarkable machines.
        The first night in town we stopped for dinner at a street café with a lot of men and women my age wearing Harley Davidson gear. The waiter came up and asked if I just came in on my Harley. I said...."Yeah!" My wife corrected me with...."You didn't just ride in on your Harley!" I thought he said..."Are you ready to order?" It was kinda neat being a Harley rider for about five seconds.
         I scratched one item off my bucket list tonight. As a latchkey kid I learned a lot about life from the movies...which means that I learned a lot that was a little bit off kilter, but a lot of my love for my country comes from westerns and frontier films, and World War II and little house on the prairie type movies. I learned about love and romance from that little box with black and white movies also...which probably explains a lot.
         One of those films was A Summer Place with Sandra Dee, Troy Donahue, Dorothy McGuire, Richard Egan and Arthur Kennedy. Fortunately I don't think that I was old enough to know what was really going on, but a beach scene with two young people in love...and that theme....that theme....stuck with me for a half a century. Well tonight as my wife and I walked along a South Carolina beach with a chill in the air I pulled out my iPhone, searched for and played a few times as we walked... keeping each other warm... the theme from A Summer Place. It was special.
         Let's see...what's next on the list....the Alamo....gotta go there some day!

Sean interviews The President

Sean:                       Welcome to the show Mr. President.
President Trump:     Thank you Sean. You may kiss my ring.
Sean:                       Ha Ha. That's Funny! And that's a beautiful ring too.
President Trump:     The wall's already built.
Sean:                       What's that again?
President Trump:     The wall is already built. I like to talk in the future/past tense.
Sean:                       The future/past tense?
President Trump:     That's right. Common Core is gone and my second term is going well...
Sean:                       I get it....I think. Anyway. Let met start, I know that your a busy man, let
                                me start with this question. You said that you would sit down and talk with
                                Kim Jong-un...is that correct?
President Trump:    That's correct. And I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he's a good
                               man...a very good man...probably as good as Duterte or whatever his name is.
Sean:                      Well, I wouldn't put anything past your negotiating abilities.
President Trump:    Someday I hope to sit down with Satan.
Sean:                      Ha ha...ha........ha..............ha....Satan?
President Trump:    That's right.
Sean:                      You're a great kidder Mr. President!
President Trump:     I'm not kidding. I'm going to ask Hillary to conjure him up. She's really a very
                                good women you know.
Sean:                      Mr. President. Satan is the cause of the fall of man!
President Trump:     What man?
Sean:                       Adam.
President Trump:     Adam who?
Sean:                       Mr. President, Satan is the great deceiver!
President Trump:     That's politics Sean.
Sean:                       The good book says that Satan is a deceiver....and a destroyer!
President Trump:      Norman Vincent Peale's The Power Of Positive Thinking says that?
Sean:                       No...the Bible. Have you ever read the Bible sir?
President Trump:     Sean. I read three books in my life...and two of them didn't have any pictures.
                                So I obviously love to read but the Bible has all those thee's and thou's. Too
                                many prepositions!
Sean:                       Those are pronouns sir.
President Trump:     Whatever. I tried to read it once. I read once sentence...something like....In the
                                beginning God created the heavens and the earth. I don't think this patent would
                                hold up in court.
Sean:                       Well, I can see we're out of time. Thank you for coming on the show.....yes I
                                saw that earlier.....it's a very nice ring.
                   
                                   

How Do You Say 'My Name Is Special Dog' In Polish

          Many many years ago, back when a phone call was ten cents and if a man shaved his head bald then everyone avoided him, a friend fixed me up on a double-date with a girl....a very pretty girl...who spoke only Polish....not even a word of English. Now there's more to the situation....how should I say this.....I wasn't exactly the fastest horse on the track. I really didn't know how to handle a date with a girl that I couldn't communicate a single word with. I had enough trouble on dates with girls that I could communicate with. I tried sign language and that only made the situation worse. I won't bore you with the details on how the date ended but will say that it took me a year to recover from it.
          I once almost burned down the oldest "Authenticated" as Wikipedia puts it "authenticated structure west of the Allegheny Mountains." It happened like this...it was a cold winter day and I had a little bit of a cold so my pockets were full of Kleenexes. As my young son and I were about to enter the "oldest authenticated structure west of the Allegheny Mountains," I tapped empty my pipe and put it in the vest pocket of my leather coat. The size of this "oldest authenticated..." you know the rest "structure" is only a little bigger than the average kiosk in any mall. The only employee panicked when he smelled the smoke. I've never been back since, it's been twenty years, for fear that I would see two pictures on the wall....George Washington's with the caption 'Father Of Our Country' and mine with "Have You Seen This Man?'
          I have great difficulty being the center of attention. Thankfully I've never been given any awards in my life for I could never handle the pressure of accepting it. I panic if I go to a concert and one of the singers walks down into the audience singing. It's happened more than once. I  just know that they're going to stick that mic in my face to sing along.  I once had a very popular celebrity whose name you would know, sing a beautiful song right next to me and I'm looking off into the rafters, probably on television, as If I didn't know where I was. No one wants to put a mic in the face of a crazy person. I was though surprised once at Sea World. I was minding my own business enjoying Shamu perform in a pool with a giant video screen over it.....she appeared out of no where and stuck the mic in my face asking me a question. I looked up at the screen and there I was. I had a flashback of my date with the girl who spoke only Polish. It was probably one of the more awkward moments in Sea World history.
         I had to slow dance with my wife in front of over a hundred people at our son's wedding. It almost paralyzed me. After about two minutes of terror others stepped onto the dance floor. Someone tapped my wife on her shoulder to dance. What on earth was I going to do? My new daughter-in law's mother was there so I somehow communicated if she would like to dance....it seemed like that was what was expected of me. The dance ended and I felt great relief for my entire responsibility for the reception was over...relief until I realized that I clung to my son's mother-in-law like a drowning man to an overturned dinghy with sharks fins all around. I later made matters worse by trying to explain to her why I clung to her like a drowning man holding to a dinghy with shark fins all around. The great blessing of our son's wedding day ended. I took off my suit coat for the first time since I put it on fifteen hours earlier. I put my hands in my pockets out of relief and there was a tennis ball in one of them. I'm fairly sure that I'm the only man in the history of Western Civilization to have a tennis ball in his pant pocket during his son's wedding.
         I tell you these things, and there are many more, to explain why I write an anonymous blog...that isn't even a blog. It's just me on one side and seven billion people on the other who have no idea who I am. Hey, some people in Poland may even read these posts through a text translator. I could probably handle that situation if it were today....nah.
        
Addendum: I wanted to add this because it happened only an hour ago as we spent a nice Saturday afternoon at the Butler Museum Of Art that's basically on the Youngstown State University campus. By the way it's a wonderful museum and I highly recommend it although after reading these posts you may not appreciate anything I recommend. Anyway, in one of the many rooms in the museum they have a very real to life sculpture of an old man dressed as a security guard and sitting somewhat slouched on a chair, of whom I said Hi to on the way in and went back to ask him if it was ok to take a photo of Norman Rockwell's Lincoln The Railsplitter! I'm certain that this episode will wind up on Candid Camera,

Give Us A Speech The Children Can Memorize

        Those who read these posts and know me personally will not be surprised at what I'm about to relate. I made a trip to the local mall tonight to make an exchange for a larger size pair of slippers and as I was walking out I noticed a clearance table for some of those women's bath whatever they are....you squirt it on while taking a shower or something.....doesn't make much sense to me. Anyway I thought that I might pick up a little something for my wife.
         I had done this before with no consequences but tonight as I pushed the top open, put it up to my nose and squeezed a little bit to get a whiff of the fragrance...I squirted this pinkish cream all over my mustache and beard. It was all over the bottle and my hands. I had nothing to clean up with and a thought came to mind that if I go home with my mustache smelling like blossom something-or-other that I might have some explaining to do so I better buy this shower-squirt stuff or whatever it is as evidence. So anyway...back to advising the world...

Inaugural Speech 

         Donald Trump contracted a speechwriter for his inauguration. I wish that he had contacted me first but since some people seem to be backing out on the inauguration it might not be too late. If any one of you knows Stephen K. Bannon or Kellyanne Conway or Kanye West or Miss America please pass this speech on to them and they'll get it Donald.

         On November 8th Americans went to the polls from Hawaii to Maine.....some in Hawaii and Maine probably went to the polls seven or eight times....and after all the votes were counted I became the President-elect of the United States.....your president. I thank you for your trust in me but would ask you to take that trust and place it at the feet of Jesus Christ. Our media here in America say that you picked the worst possible choice for president. For once in their life they were right for I am the worst of the worst and the least of the least. What they will never acknowledge is that you also chose the humblest of the humble. What....you say....Donald Trump....humble? In developing real estate I am anything but humble....you all know this.....but in the august position that I assumed today by taking this oath.....I am humbled to the point of total dependence on the will of God.....humbled in that I have 300 plus million people depending upon me for wisdom.
         Previous to today I only had a few thousand who depended upon me and that dependence was   only in the employment that my companies provided. I now cast all my successes in business at the feet of our Savior. He allowed those past successes to happen. I have accomplished nothing in life that God has not only allowed me to accomplish and gave me the abilities to accomplish. I now need the wisdom that He had in the past given men such as George Washington; and therefore after surveying the character that I have shown up to this day... I can call myself the least of the least... and... as the Apostle Paul wrote in the Good Book....excuse me... I have to read this for I have never memorized any Bible verses...."The saying is trustworthy and deserving of  full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost."       .
         We have a daunting task ahead of us. The man who preceded me in this office has worked up to this very morning to weaken this country that we love, and has also worked to undermine what you called for me to do, but lest....I don't think that I've ever used the word lest before....I trust that Special Dog knows what he's talking about....lest we place all the blame on others and fail to acknowledge our own sins, we must admit that we have brought these disasters upon ourselves. We fell fast asleep in the lap of Delilah. We constructed gods of gold and silver and wood and stone...and I constructed more than anyone. We were given great blessings in the form of freedom and liberty but failed to be vigilant in the defense of them.
       The assaults that will come in the following days, weeks and months on the character that I have shown the world up till now will be accurate. The assaults that will come upon my intentions will be false. The assaults that have been levied in the past and will certainly continue upon the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, our Creator and Benefactor, Jesus Christ.... can be forgiven by Him for they are done in ignorance but to assault the workings of God's Spirit is not ignorance....it is a purposeful and outright rejection of the source of all truth.
       So let us move ahead from this day forward in faith....for as Abraham Lincoln once said in truth...."God's will shall prevail," and let us then seek His mercy upon us in that will. Thank you.
 
       So, do you think that President-elect Trump might possibly use this speech? Maybe I should have put some 'really really bigs' in it? Either way I hope Donald Trump's inaugural speech is short....and serous....and honest. Abraham Lincoln sat on the cold podium for hours before he was to give what has become known as his Gettysburg Address. The speech that preceded him was two hours long. He spoke 272 words and it took only three minutes but his message was so profound that I can still recite most of it from my elementary school days.
       

Aah Starbucks

       I just sent my wife a text....."sitting in Starbucks at the only good table in the place...reading a great book....and listening to Bach....if only their coffee was consumable it would be perfect."
       I don't function well in groups of more than say....two. I like to look into the eyes of the person I'm talking to and try to see what they're thinking between the lines. A group of six would be too many eyes to look into and too many personalities to analyze.
       Back to the book I'm reading. I have an addiction for which I know of no group therapy. I have to be in the middle of a good book. Last week I wrote a post on a book....Target JFK by Robert Wilcox...that I started at two o'clock in the afternoon and finished at two in the morning, but then I went a week without a new book and started to get the shakes. I went to Barnes &Noble and spent an hour going from one category to another and found nothing that interested me. I gave up and headed for the door and happened to glance to the side and that saw the latest book by James Rickards was out...The Road To Ruin, The Global Elite's Secret Plan For The Next Financial Crisis. I picked it up without thinking and rushed to the checkout....twenty-nine bucks...ouch.....but it's worth a hundred and twenty-nine bucks.
         So what I'm doing here is something I've never done....recommending a book before I have even finished it....but my hope is to write more on it in the near future for it is an important book. Now to be fair...one has to be able to have a reading ability a little bit more than the sports pages require, and there are no Antichrist scenarios so far...but Hillary's name has not come up yet....and I did notice from the index that there is one mention of her!
         This is not a fly-by-night author as the title of the book might lead one to believe. He's associated with John Hopkins University and also an advisor to the Department of Defense. I have about sixty pages left. Now if I find that he happens to mention Special Dog in a very unflattering way in the few pages remaining....well....it will be a lesson learned.

Galleon-Slaves Vs Crew

         I started writing these posts in October of 2008 and shortly after beginning I noticed that I had a.... follower. I have to admit that it shook me up a little.....me....Special Dog....had a follower! What would be next...a group of followers and then we all move to a small town in upstate New York and my followers begin to be known as.....what....Doggers? I write my own Bible and then as events take their course we all go down in a blaze of glory on some Caribbean island?
         OK I exaggerate a little but I really did not like the concept of a follower. I went into the settings of these blogs and eliminated the follower link. As far as I know my one follower is still....following me.... as my very own Sancho.....I only wish that I had his advice!
         Why do I spend just about every day of my life at this computer and on this blog....which really isn't even a blog? I'm sure that it has effected my sanity but not sure if it has been for the better or the worse. What would I be like on Facebook....with....friends?  Would I get one 'friend' and say...."that's it...no more friends!"? As an aside I guess that we all have a few things about our lives that we like to brag about. I have two.... I have never seen an actual Facebook page....and I have never seen Megyn Kelley on her show! If salvation were truly by 'works' which so many mistakenly believe then I surely would be in!
         I like to exaggerate my metaphors and often veer off into extended metaphors.....maybe you have noticed? Here's one for example.....Progressives are like Canadian geese who follow that lead goose who in this case is a bull goose loony....but they might be likened more to the herd of pigs that ran off the cliff and into the sea as Jesus cast the demons into them. Now don't get upset, I'm not calling Progressives pigs for that would be politically incorrect....I'm only saying that they might have demons in them which no Progressives would mind for they don't believe in demons....but they do believe in pigs.....which they call us all the time....and that's not being  politically incorrect because Progressives just tell the truth all the time.
        A case in point would be the news story that heads Fox News Internet right now...."Sparks fly as teams Clinton, Trump review bruising campaign." Harvard hosts this campaign "postmortem" after every presidential campaign. Permit me a little anecdote here...In 2001 my wife and son and I went to Europe. While in England we visited Cambridge University. I was somewhat in awe but as I toured Emmanuel College, where John Harvard was educated, I saw a statue of a Hindu deity displayed in amongst portraits of many Puritans. That would be akin to finding the Reformation Study Bible on the table next to Barack Obama's bed! But I digress as I always do...
        In this...debate...the Clinton team member once again accused the Trump campaign of racism. That would be like condemning the people on the Mayflower for purposely bringing two rats along in the very bottom of the hold. It's particularly sad since the Democrat Party is like an ancient galleon that used galley-slaves to row. Conservatives can be likened more to a college 'crew' team. By the way, now that the campaign is over Dinesh D'Souzas's film Hillary's America should be out on DVD by now. Watch this and weep!