Give Us A Speech The Children Can Memorize

        Those who read these posts and know me personally will not be surprised at what I'm about to relate. I made a trip to the local mall tonight to make an exchange for a larger size pair of slippers and as I was walking out I noticed a clearance table for some of those women's bath whatever they are....you squirt it on while taking a shower or something.....doesn't make much sense to me. Anyway I thought that I might pick up a little something for my wife.
         I had done this before with no consequences but tonight as I pushed the top open, put it up to my nose and squeezed a little bit to get a whiff of the fragrance...I squirted this pinkish cream all over my mustache and beard. It was all over the bottle and my hands. I had nothing to clean up with and a thought came to mind that if I go home with my mustache smelling like blossom something-or-other that I might have some explaining to do so I better buy this shower-squirt stuff or whatever it is as evidence. So anyway...back to advising the world...

Inaugural Speech 

         Donald Trump contracted a speechwriter for his inauguration. I wish that he had contacted me first but since some people seem to be backing out on the inauguration it might not be too late. If any one of you knows Stephen K. Bannon or Kellyanne Conway or Kanye West or Miss America please pass this speech on to them and they'll get it Donald.

         On November 8th Americans went to the polls from Hawaii to Maine.....some in Hawaii and Maine probably went to the polls seven or eight times....and after all the votes were counted I became the President-elect of the United States.....your president. I thank you for your trust in me but would ask you to take that trust and place it at the feet of Jesus Christ. Our media here in America say that you picked the worst possible choice for president. For once in their life they were right for I am the worst of the worst and the least of the least. What they will never acknowledge is that you also chose the humblest of the humble. What....you say....Donald Trump....humble? In developing real estate I am anything but humble....you all know this.....but in the august position that I assumed today by taking this oath.....I am humbled to the point of total dependence on the will of God.....humbled in that I have 300 plus million people depending upon me for wisdom.
         Previous to today I only had a few thousand who depended upon me and that dependence was   only in the employment that my companies provided. I now cast all my successes in business at the feet of our Savior. He allowed those past successes to happen. I have accomplished nothing in life that God has not only allowed me to accomplish and gave me the abilities to accomplish. I now need the wisdom that He had in the past given men such as George Washington; and therefore after surveying the character that I have shown up to this day... I can call myself the least of the least... and... as the Apostle Paul wrote in the Good Book....excuse me... I have to read this for I have never memorized any Bible verses...."The saying is trustworthy and deserving of  full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost."       .
         We have a daunting task ahead of us. The man who preceded me in this office has worked up to this very morning to weaken this country that we love, and has also worked to undermine what you called for me to do, but lest....I don't think that I've ever used the word lest before....I trust that Special Dog knows what he's talking about....lest we place all the blame on others and fail to acknowledge our own sins, we must admit that we have brought these disasters upon ourselves. We fell fast asleep in the lap of Delilah. We constructed gods of gold and silver and wood and stone...and I constructed more than anyone. We were given great blessings in the form of freedom and liberty but failed to be vigilant in the defense of them.
       The assaults that will come in the following days, weeks and months on the character that I have shown the world up till now will be accurate. The assaults that will come upon my intentions will be false. The assaults that have been levied in the past and will certainly continue upon the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, our Creator and Benefactor, Jesus Christ.... can be forgiven by Him for they are done in ignorance but to assault the workings of God's Spirit is not ignorance....it is a purposeful and outright rejection of the source of all truth.
       So let us move ahead from this day forward in faith....for as Abraham Lincoln once said in truth...."God's will shall prevail," and let us then seek His mercy upon us in that will. Thank you.
 
       So, do you think that President-elect Trump might possibly use this speech? Maybe I should have put some 'really really bigs' in it? Either way I hope Donald Trump's inaugural speech is short....and serous....and honest. Abraham Lincoln sat on the cold podium for hours before he was to give what has become known as his Gettysburg Address. The speech that preceded him was two hours long. He spoke 272 words and it took only three minutes but his message was so profound that I can still recite most of it from my elementary school days.
       

Aah Starbucks

       I just sent my wife a text....."sitting in Starbucks at the only good table in the place...reading a great book....and listening to Bach....if only their coffee was consumable it would be perfect."
       I don't function well in groups of more than say....two. I like to look into the eyes of the person I'm talking to and try to see what they're thinking between the lines. A group of six would be too many eyes to look into and too many personalities to analyze.
       Back to the book I'm reading. I have an addiction for which I know of no group therapy. I have to be in the middle of a good book. Last week I wrote a post on a book....Target JFK by Robert Wilcox...that I started at two o'clock in the afternoon and finished at two in the morning, but then I went a week without a new book and started to get the shakes. I went to Barnes &Noble and spent an hour going from one category to another and found nothing that interested me. I gave up and headed for the door and happened to glance to the side and that saw the latest book by James Rickards was out...The Road To Ruin, The Global Elite's Secret Plan For The Next Financial Crisis. I picked it up without thinking and rushed to the checkout....twenty-nine bucks...ouch.....but it's worth a hundred and twenty-nine bucks.
         So what I'm doing here is something I've never done....recommending a book before I have even finished it....but my hope is to write more on it in the near future for it is an important book. Now to be fair...one has to be able to have a reading ability a little bit more than the sports pages require, and there are no Antichrist scenarios so far...but Hillary's name has not come up yet....and I did notice from the index that there is one mention of her!
         This is not a fly-by-night author as the title of the book might lead one to believe. He's associated with John Hopkins University and also an advisor to the Department of Defense. I have about sixty pages left. Now if I find that he happens to mention Special Dog in a very unflattering way in the few pages remaining....well....it will be a lesson learned.

Galleon-Slaves Vs Crew

         I started writing these posts in October of 2008 and shortly after beginning I noticed that I had a.... follower. I have to admit that it shook me up a little.....me....Special Dog....had a follower! What would be next...a group of followers and then we all move to a small town in upstate New York and my followers begin to be known as.....what....Doggers? I write my own Bible and then as events take their course we all go down in a blaze of glory on some Caribbean island?
         OK I exaggerate a little but I really did not like the concept of a follower. I went into the settings of these blogs and eliminated the follower link. As far as I know my one follower is still....following me.... as my very own Sancho.....I only wish that I had his advice!
         Why do I spend just about every day of my life at this computer and on this blog....which really isn't even a blog? I'm sure that it has effected my sanity but not sure if it has been for the better or the worse. What would I be like on Facebook....with....friends?  Would I get one 'friend' and say...."that's it...no more friends!"? As an aside I guess that we all have a few things about our lives that we like to brag about. I have two.... I have never seen an actual Facebook page....and I have never seen Megyn Kelley on her show! If salvation were truly by 'works' which so many mistakenly believe then I surely would be in!
         I like to exaggerate my metaphors and often veer off into extended metaphors.....maybe you have noticed? Here's one for example.....Progressives are like Canadian geese who follow that lead goose who in this case is a bull goose loony....but they might be likened more to the herd of pigs that ran off the cliff and into the sea as Jesus cast the demons into them. Now don't get upset, I'm not calling Progressives pigs for that would be politically incorrect....I'm only saying that they might have demons in them which no Progressives would mind for they don't believe in demons....but they do believe in pigs.....which they call us all the time....and that's not being  politically incorrect because Progressives just tell the truth all the time.
        A case in point would be the news story that heads Fox News Internet right now...."Sparks fly as teams Clinton, Trump review bruising campaign." Harvard hosts this campaign "postmortem" after every presidential campaign. Permit me a little anecdote here...In 2001 my wife and son and I went to Europe. While in England we visited Cambridge University. I was somewhat in awe but as I toured Emmanuel College, where John Harvard was educated, I saw a statue of a Hindu deity displayed in amongst portraits of many Puritans. That would be akin to finding the Reformation Study Bible on the table next to Barack Obama's bed! But I digress as I always do...
        In this...debate...the Clinton team member once again accused the Trump campaign of racism. That would be like condemning the people on the Mayflower for purposely bringing two rats along in the very bottom of the hold. It's particularly sad since the Democrat Party is like an ancient galleon that used galley-slaves to row. Conservatives can be likened more to a college 'crew' team. By the way, now that the campaign is over Dinesh D'Souzas's film Hillary's America should be out on DVD by now. Watch this and weep!
       

What Bald Spot?

         I don't think that I would look good if I were bald. Some of you might be saying....'Special Dog, you don't even look good with hair'....but that's besides the point. About a year or so ago I was attempting to trim my own hair so I had a second mirror out to see the back of my head and lo and behold there was a small patch of baldness at twelve o'clock high and it sent me into a little bit of depression.
         No one had mentioned this to me, not our son or even my wife, not even my co-workers who delight in ribbing each other with information like this, although my barber did comment one day that I might want to keep my hair a little longer on top and I wondered what he meant by that. For a few days and weeks after that I would occasionally get that second mirror out and check to see if the bald patch was spreading.
         I came up with the perfect answer to this dilemma. No, it's not Joe Biden hair plugs...and no it also wasn't just growing up and accepting what was minuscule in the grand scheme of problems that we face today. I just quite looking at the back of my head...problem solved! I ignored it. Until I can see scalp on top of my head while looking directly into a mirror there is no problem!
         Friends, I gladly relate this story to you, embarrassing as it is, if I can but turn this quirk of human nature to your benefit by pointing it out. There is really only one way not to see the impending disasters just ahead for not only America but the entire world, and that is that the evidence, both in the news but most importantly in the Word of God, has to be totally and purposely ignored.
         What is especially frightening is that I don't see this ugly total lack of respect for other human beings in Europe as much as here in the United States. We have bypassed them in abominations because Europe does not push the envelope on God as we do here. Police officers are being executed in our streets. Donald Trump certainly does not represent Christian values but those who put him where he is do. Thus we have this intensifying clash. Ignore what is happening if you want but cheering for Donald Trump cannot hide what is really taking place....it has to be purposely ignored.....which in essence is lying to ourselves.

Mr. Monk And The Missing Campaign Manager

         It's front page Internet news on Fox right now! The caption with the accompanying picture reads..."Girl captures chilling pic of 'child ghost' in mom's car." This is Fox News folks....."Fair And Balanced." Here's the story.....A mother and her 13 year old daughter are riding in a car...alone...on a sunny day, and the daughter is bored and begins to take selfies of herself. A month later the mother comes across the picture on her phone... and visible behind her daughter is a young child....but they were alone in the car!
         The mother then contacted an expert in the paranormal. The expert tells her that in using a special device, used also by the FBI and the CIA, that there was no color or temperature in the small child's face. Are you bored yet? There's a few more X-Files moments if you are interested but what I'm interested in is that the mother now thinks that "it's very important to the world to see that picture" because "So many people have hope for the afterlife and this proves it....." It should be noted that the mother, according to the article, "was not scared by the suspected haunting as she claims (her daughter) is a magnet for paranormal activity." Personally I think that's Megyn Kelly in the photo. She seems to be everywhere?
         Let's go over this again.....a woman who according to the article has been given thirteen traffic tickets for driving with her daughter not wearing a seat belt....this woman tells us that she thinks it's important for the world to see the picture that's on her phone. I could see if it was only seven or eight tickets...but thirteen? The mother describes the daughter as a 'magnet' for paranormal activity." The daughter has been told thirteen times to put on her seat belt and never does it... but the mother is also 'sure' that there was no one in the backseat? Might I suggest that the young girl may have snuck someone along for the ride? Nah...that would be disobedient! The mother says that this whole thing is a 'positive' thing.  What then is a negative thing....no ghosts in the picture? They were on their way to a junior beauty pageant...nothing unusual here!  The mother sent the photo to the ....Director of Parapsychology, Afterlife and Paranormal Studies. I'll bet you she had his address in her contacts.  This whole episode might encourage the producers of Monk to bring the show back into production...

Monk.............."Let me get this straight....you were sitting... here?
Mother.....       "Yes, that's where the steering wheel is."
Monk.......       "And your daughter was sitting... there?"
Mother.....       "Yes...and the ghost was sitting in the back seat."
Monk........      "And your daughter didn't have her seat belt on even though you have had
                         thirteen traffic tickets for her not having her seat belt on?"
Mother............."I'm going to catch her one of these days."
Monk turns to Captain Stottlemeyer....
                         "There's something strange going on here."
Capt. Stottlemeyer rolls his eyes......
                         "Why...because there's a ghost in the back seat?
Monk.......         "No...because this is front page Fox News.....Fair and Balanced."
Monk eyes get very bright................
                          "I've solved the case."
Capt. Stottlemeyer....."Monk, there's no case here."
Monk................."Oh yes there is. You see Hillary Clinton was supposed to win
                            the election. If she catches Robby Mook, her campaign manager,
                            she may strangle him! That 'ghost'... that ghost...
                            was Robby Mook hiding in the back seat!"
Capt. Stottlemeyer.....
                            "Well it does make sense....and it is her modus operandi?"

Aaah Bach!

         I retired six weeks ago...or was it six years ago....no, it was six weeks ago. "I think that I shall never see...A poem lovely as a tree".... I relay this verse not because I love poetry....although I used to be Rod McKuen's biggest fan...but because had I not at least two weeks of raking leaves so far I may have gone crazy. By the way...did you know that Joyce Kilmer was a guy....Joyce was his middle name as his first name was Alfred. Alfred?...I guess I don't blame him.  Anyway, in desperation for things to do I have recently thrown myself into Bach as a last resort! My mini-boom is at my ear as I type. I don't know fugue from fudge but I must say these tunes are every bit as good as everyone has always said.
         I write semifacetiously here. I do know the difference between fugue and fudge. I just prefer fudge. And I have indeed 'thrown myself' somewhat into Bach. And his music is as wonderful as it is acclaimed to be. The following is part of a post from 2010. The last paragraph is the key. We can throw ourselves into many things...politics....fitness....and music... there are important responsibilities and wise pastimes  and good deeds and enjoyments....but there is only one thing that should be all-consuming....only one thing that is  'living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning (of) the thoughts and intentions of the heart.'

Aaah Tabletalk

         There was a movie a few decades ago, a comedy, where a man was trying to impress a young lady who was very cultured. Advice given to him was that if the topic of classical music came up, just say Aaaah...Bach and that may get him by. If Old English Heroic Epic Poetry is ever brought up to me in a conversation, I may just say Aaaah...Beowulf.  I read Beowulf in high school. It was a great learning experience. I learned how to read thousands of words straight through and not understand a single thought they conveyed.
         I once held a fancy for a young lady in college who was very cultured, in fact she taught Theater Arts 101 as a grad student. This may have been the beginning of my actually... studying....for I signed up for the class and devoured the textbook to impress her. I even took an acting class and went to plays....Aaaah...Moliere!  The peak of my impressing her was when I cleared up a long standing mystery at the Pittsburgh Playhouse. We were working there for a few weeks, actually just rummaging through the stored old materials of the historic Playhouse for anything that the Pitt library's Special Collections could use. During a tour of the building I correctly identified King Edward VIII out of a dozen characters in an old Al Hirschfeld caricature mural, an answer that had up to then eluded even the director. This young lady looked at me in amazement and said..."You're Smart!" But alas, I'm not cultured. I guessed correctly for I knew it was either the king, later the Duke Of Windsor, or Dagwood Bumstead....Aaaah Blondie!  I'd rather go to a Three Stooges marathon than a ballet. I read everything I had to through high school, but I didn't really read it. But I've since had a metamorphosis, Aaaah...Kafka!   
         Reformed theologian, pastor and teacher R. C. Sproul, through his Ligonier Ministries, publishes a monthly devotional/Bible study called Tabletalk, the name taken from Martin Luther's work of the same title. This booklet comes to our house early so I'm usually a little bit ahead of schedule. Today I was reading the July 15th offering and the Bible verse to be considered was Joshua  1:8.... This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous....   
       

Special Dog For Congress?

      There are people who just do not take a good photo, and I am one of them. I've had three photos over the years under my profile that appears to your right. The first photo, if you remember, was what looked like a wet dog sitting on a wooden bridge over a creek. Unfortunately that was me....I just looked like a wet dog in the photo. The second photo that I tried was me standing on a sandy beach. The face in the photo appeared grainy. It wasn't the camera's fault...my photographed face just tends to look grainy. The third and present photo to your right may look somewhat normal for a sixty-six year old man. I was eighteen when it was taken!
       Many people just do not photograph well. Woody Allen is one. He is a very handsome man in person and resembles Robert Redford a little bit, but look at all the photographs of him! Hillary Clinton is another.....to look at any of her photographs one would think that she just crawled from under a coal truck. Her eyes appear no more human than a Macy's mannequin, her smile as a humanoid robot, her mouth as a bottomless pit, her skin as Vladimir Lenin's in his mausoleum. Every time I see a picture of her I think of Madame Tussuad's Wax Museum...but actually in person she is a very beautiful lady!  This phenomenon works the opposite way also. Some people never take a bad picture. Anthony Weiner for one.
        I've tried very hard to find a decent picture of myself to put on this page. My driver license looks like I was hauled in for drunken driving and faceprinted instead of fingerprinted. I've tried every angle. A side silhouette looks like Alfred Hitchcock with a beard. I don't even take a good portrait! My mother was an accomplished oil painter. I've added her portrait of me below. The only reason I have not run for Congress is that who is going to vote for someone whose photographs look like they should be on America's Most Wanted?  Hmmm, a lot of people are going to vote for Hillary!