Rush was in seventh heaven. This would be the third time that he played Augusta National Golf Club but he would be playing it with the President of the United States. As he just stood and looked down the fairway to the first green he marveled at the beauty of the golf course and this world in general but the sirens awakened him out of his trance. The motorcade pulled right up to the tee and out stepped Donald Trump.
"Good morning Mr. President. It's a great day for golf!"
"Mornin' Rush, how much do you want to play for?"
"Well Mr. President I'm not much of a betting man....how about a grand a hole?"
"You're on."
Next out of the Lincoln was Jared Kushner....and then Ivanka....and then a pleasant enough looking man in a suit and tie who kind of looked like....it was....Sean Spicer....the White House press secretary? Two young men and an older man walked up to the tee. They were to be the caddies....the one looked familiar.
"So Mr. President. Who will be the foursome."
"Jared, you and me. Ivanka is here to advise me and Sean sends out my tweets."
"OooooKaaay. Who tees up first."
"Ivanka, who tees up first?"
"You do Dad."
The first hole was a 445 yard slightly right dogleg with a huge sand trap a little over halfway down the right side of the fairway and another huge trap just to the front left of the green. The president teed off...the ball sailed high and slightly to the right...landing in the trap.
"Oh...tough one Mr. President."
"Sean"... shouted the president...."Send out a tweet....'Really big drive on Augusta one!' "
Jared stepped up to the tee but didn't tee anything up. He stood over the grass....took a couple of practice swings....moved two feet forward and swung. Both he and the president looked out on the fairway at....nothing!
"Good tee shot Jared!"
"Thanks Dad."
Rush just scratched his head. It was his turn. His caddie handed him his driver. The caddie looked familiar.
"Don't I know you?"
The president spoke up.
"That's Steven K. Bannon, Rush. I promoted him just this morning to Augusta National caddie."
Rush felt a weird rush....but just teed up and sent the ball out about 250 yards....in the fairway....missing the trap. Now he usually likes to gab on the golf course but was a little taken aback....because Jared swung at nothing....Rush thought anyway....but it was a good shot....and a National Security Council adviser was promoted into being his caddie?
The President stood in the trap...planted his feet in the sand and hacked....again and again....finally getting the ball out of the sand....over the fairway and into the rough.
"Sean!....Tweet....'on in two!' "
Rush asked....Steven K. Bannon....for his seven iron....and when given it tipped his hat. He didn't know what else to say. He played the shot and came up about about ten yards short of the green....but a good shot. Jared was last since his drive was the longest....Rush guessed. He swung at nothing again and leaned left....
"Come on ball....hold!"
The president shouted from forty yards away...
"Great shot Jared!!
President Trump had a nine iron in his hands when Ivanka rushed up to him and whispered into his ear. He called to his caddie for his putter....from 150 yards out? He swung the putter hard and advanced the ball about about twenty yards....walked forward and basically putted his way to the green...because of Ivanka's advice.
Rush lobbed his third shot about twenty yards from the pin. Meanwhile Jared had taken a pitching wedge....swung....at nothing again....and then the President, Ivanka and Sean Spicer all let out a scream! Rush ducked...looked left and right...what was up?
"Great shot Jared...that should be a tap in!"
There were the four of them on the green...the president...Jared...Rush...and Sean Spicer...what was he doing on the green....what was he doing in this threesome....or twosome...or whatever the heck it was? Who was to putt first in this circus. Rush was closer than the president but who knows where Jared was.
The president stepped up to his ball and putted about three feet past the hole then kind of pushed it a couple times into the hole. Rush looked at Jared who nodded for him to putt. He two putted for a bogey five....not bad. Jared lined up his putt....presumably....either that or he was sleeping....or praying. He walked forward...and tapped whatever he was looking at into the hole then he reached into the cup to pull out....nothing....and putting nothing into his pocket.
As they walked off the green Rush, who had the scorecard, asked the president...
"Okay. I got a five....Jared got a ....what did Jared get Mr. President?"
"A birdie."
"OoooKaaaay....Jared got a birdie...and you got what...a thirteen or fourteen?"
"I got a par four?"
Rush chuckled and softly said to the president....
"Uh....Mr. President....par four is good for me....you deserved it....but your caddie....I heard him say that his daddy is the president of St. Pierre in the South Pacific. His daddy sent him to the states for an education and to learn the value of money. Uh....he might tell someone."
"The President of St. Pierre in the South Pacific huh...where's that?"
"Uh St. Pierre?"
"No...the South Pacific. Never mind I'll send over a battle group....put me down for a par four....and you owe me a grand.....Sean!....tweet....'sending a battle group to St. Pierre!' "
Rush had pictured a great...even wonderful day at Augusta...an alarm sounded...what was that....an air raid? He fell out of bed and turn the alarm off and said out loud...
"I should never have read that Special Dog crap before bed!"
NOTE: Donald Trump is actually a scratch golfer.....presumably anyway....I'm a scratch golfer too....after every swing I scratch my head.
